Saturday, June 8, 2013

I Hate Myself More Than I Hate Jessica Marconi

1/6/02

The whole world is fake and plastic and the media is fake and plastic and even my fucked up songs are fake and plastic.  I'm an old maid and I am NEVER EVER EVER going to get another boyfriend or kissed another boy.  It's been more than 6 months since I last kissed a boy.  How can this happen to someone so beautiful?  Get this, media!  Get this, all boys who don't talk to me!  YOU ARE MAKING ME WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!  Tim, I am so pissed at you!  I wish I could go straight down to Tampa right now and punch you till you fell to the ground, and then I would beat up all the boys who never thought of me as a girlfriend AND all the boys who once loved me and then forgot about me.

What happened to us, Drew?  I wish we were in writing class right now.  I wish we were there, just having fun, with all those snotty bitches from my school looking at me with a junior.  I wish I were somebody else who liked herself.  How can I think I'm so beautiful but hate myself so much?  I hate myself even more than I hate Jessica Marconi.  If we were fighting, she would deserve to win because she's better than I am and she is so on top of things and I'm a fucking mess who's been worn out and who's never going to kiss a boy.

Note: What the fuck?  Why did I call myself an old maid when I was thirteen?  And I'm not sure why I was so mad at Drew here (the guy who wanted to kidnap me and take me to an anime convention).  I had already had crushes on about four new guys before this post.

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