Tuesday, August 13, 2013

If I Said Yes To Everything At Camp, I Wouldn't Be A Virgin


I don't know why I don't like Zach.  He's so nice and everything but I don't just want a guy I can talk with, but also a guy I can make out with.  That's why it didn't work out with Jason.  He wasn't ready.  I'm looking forward to camp.  The guys there aren't like Zach and Jason.  They're fast.  Sometimes too fast.  (Hint: if I said yes to everything at camp I wouldn't be a virgin).  But this time I'm ready (not for losing my virginity).  But I'll go to 1st base.  I'm not the least bit hesitant, but I wouldn't go to 3rd base but I would let a guy touch my chest.  I don't see what the problem is about that.  I guess you can say I'm an exhibitionist in some ways.  But I'm not really a slut.  I wouldn't get a homerun on any baseball game now, and probably the most I'd get is a single.  So if you're my mom reading this, I'm still a virgin, I'm not taking drugs, I'm doing well in school and I don't intend to do any of those things.

Well.  I forgot what a little horndog I was in middle school, turning boys down because they weren't slutty enough for me.  
I'm not sure where I constructed this idea that I had the opportunity to have sex in camp.  I do recall some weird counselor following me around and calling me sexy, so maybe I'm referring to the tantalizing opportunity to be the victim of a child molester.
Also, I really nailed it with the baseball/sex metaphors. 

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